We have never been big gift givers for Mother’s or Father’s day. In my opinion, we should be appreciated more than once a year.
However, this year I’m going ALL out and asking for it all!!!!
That’s right, Daddy’s in for it this year!!
The things I want for mothers day have no monetary value. Ha!! Ooooook, well if you consider that in order to get these things for mothers day I would need to hire a qualified sitter for about 10-12 hours, the price would be very high.
Grab some popcorn and your favorite beverage, sit back and enjoy!
Here’s the list of things I want this year!!
1. I want sleep. Ahhh, Yes. 8 hours of real, uninterrupted sleep.
2. I want to wake up on my own time, instead of the usual wake up call made by screaming and crying, “Mommy, I want this” or by Monkey climbing the walls….Literally.
3. I want at least two clones of myself. With the extra hands, I promise that you will always come home to a clean house and a warm dinner. A cleaning robot might do. Maybe one that cooks too. Or If those are out of stock, I’ll take a nanny robot.
4. I want to not be responsible for any meals. Someone should cook them for me. Either that or a self cooking stove. By the way, they need to be cooked exactly how the kids like it, on the right plates and with the right spoons and forks or you are in trouble! Then, I want to leave the table and not help clean up the aftermath.
5. I want to change NO diapers and wipe NO butts all day long!!! Instead, I would much rather enjoy watching someone else wrestle them. Better yet, we could construct some sort of automatic butt wash, you know sorta like an automatic car wash? Stick em on the assembly line and they come out squeaky clean!
6. I want to watch someone else clean up the poop from the floor, walls, furniture or whatever else it lands on. I might even throw some lines in there too, “WOW! What did he eat yesterday!”….”What is that SMELL!!!”…..”Ewww that is so gross!!”…”Why does he do that”….Ha. If you figure it out, I will bow down to you.
7. I want to be able to sneak in my hidden stash in the pantry. Not To open my door, fridge door and snack pantry without alarming the whole house or shall we say neighborhood.
8. I want to do whatever I want all day long. Watch Tv. Pee Alone. Sleep. Paint my nails. Surf the Net. Stalk some friends on Facebook. Sleep. Go visit a friend.
9. I want to go all day without being a detective. “What does he want?” ….”What is he saying?” “He’s into something again”…”What does he want?”…..”He’s licking everything.” ….”I think he peed in his toy box again.”
10. I want to take a long hot shower and shave my legs, in peace and quiet. Maybe I’ll go all out and turn the radio on and light some candles.
11. I want to talk on the phone with an old friend and actually be able to hear the conversation. Maybe I’ll actually find out how they have been. How their kids are. Crack a few jokes. Plan a get together.
12. I want to have my day off, without having to clean up the aftermath the next day. Which means that whomever is the caregiver must clean up every and all messes and leave my house in good standings and my kids in one piece.
Considering that my husband has to work a 5:30 am till 2pm shift on Mother’s Day, not one thing on this list will ever happen.
Hey, a woman can dream!! Right?